Being a parent is a stressful (yet rewarding) job. Not a day goes by that we don’t worry about our kids. If you’re like me, you might have already said a few thousand prayers for your children’s safety and have a few thousand more planned, regardless of how old or grown-up your kids are.
People who take care of other adults with special needs are some of the most selfless on the face of this planet, and if you are one of them, you have our full respect because it is NOT easy!
It’s an endeavor full of unique challenges, one of which is night-time incontinence. Realizing that a loved one is incontinent and that they need specialized products just to function is not an easy fact to face. When shopping for incontinence products, you might feel like you are robbing your loved one of their pride, freedom, and dignity.
Well, we’re happy to let you know that the market for adult diapers inst what it used to be. There are tons of great companies out there making products for special-needs adults that help them feel comfortable and dignified.
In fact, there are so many excellent incontinence products out there that it can be a little overwhelming trying to find the right ones. So how do you know which adult diapers are best for overnight use? Well, we’re about to find out.
We are going to discuss some different types of adult diapers, what to look for when choosing one, and our top picks for the best adult overnight diapers that you can have discreetly shipped to your door via Amazon.
Even before you pick a size for an adult overnight diaper, you need to determine the amount of absorbency that you’re going to need. In the general adult, diapers come in three different absorbency levels, light, medium, and maximum.
If your loved one only has the occasional bed-wetting accident, you might be able to get by with a light level of absorbency. However, if they have little to no control of their bladder or bowels while they sleep, a maximum absorbency diaper is probably your best bet.
When your shopping, pay close attention to the product description. Some diapers are designed only to handle bladder incontinence, so if your loved one struggles to control their bowels during at night, you’re going to need a diaper built to handle it.
It may seem obvious that you need to buy the correct size diaper, but trust me, it’s easier said than done. Like any piece of clothing, how a diaper fits varies from brand to brand. Usually, adult diapers come in four sizes: Small, Medium, Large, and Extra large. You can find a size chart in the product description on Amazon, but for some reason, it’s not listed there; you should be able to find it on the manufacturer’s website.
When testing out how a diaper fits, don’t just settle for “that’ll do.” A diaper that doesn’t fit right is a recipe for a mess. Whenever trying out a new style or brand of diaper, we strongly recommend purchasing a few different sizes. It may cost a little bit extra in the beginning, but we promise it’s worth it.
How should a diaper fit? A diaper should be snug but not tight. The elastic bands at the waist and around each leg should be just tight enough to fit two fingers. Any looser, and the contents of the diaper could spill out, any tighter, and it can cause pain and discomfort.
When changing a diaper, if you notice red marks from the diaper on your loved ones’ waste or thighs, you probably need to go up a size.
For you, as a caretaker, the style of diaper that you choose to use is going to make the biggest difference in terms of ease of use. There are three main types of overnight diapers on the market right now: Pull-ups, briefs, and reusable cloth diapers.
Now that you know what to look for in a diaper, it’s time to start shopping! To help make things a little easier for you, we’ve put together a list of some of our favorite overnight adult diapers, based on style and absorbency level.
Depend FIT-Flex Incontinence Underwear Men
Style: Pull-up underwear
Absorbency Level: maximum
For years Depend has been one of the most trusted names in adult incontinence products. As a whole, they are known for their affordability, comfort, and high absorbency levels. However, Depend has taken these three features to the next level with the FIT-Flex Incontinence underwear.
Their “DryShield Technology” allows each pair of incontinence underwear to hold upwards of 25 ounces of liquid. At the same time, the “unbelievably soft, cotton-like fabric ensures that your loved one will be comfortable all night long.
What caregivers say:
“For us, this brand works better than any other. We use it for our son who has autism and wets every night. I always use a disposable sheet protector in case of leaks That rarely happens.” – Christina
Depend FIT-Flex Incontinence Underwear for Women
Style: Pull-up underwear
Absorbency Level: maximum
We love Depends overnight incontinence underwear so much that we had to put it on this list twice! Only this time, we have the ladies in mind. Depend offers their best-selling, pull-up style diapers both for men and women. Many customers claim that the FIT-Flex diapers are the closest you can get to regular underwear in an overnight diaper.
Just as a side note, while shopping on Amazon, you might find FIT-Flex incontinence underwear “specifically designed” for overnight use. However, in reality, this is just a marketing strategy used to charge more for a re-branded product. So be sure to check the description to know exactly which version you are buying.
What caregivers say: “Unfortunately I have several physical problems and one of them is lack of bladder control. So I find myself needing to use these depends 24 seven. I have tried other products but they just are not the same. I have found depends to be the most reliable product.”
-butterflybeth
Style: Brief
Absorbency Level: Maximum
Unlike other adult brief style diapers, which can have an unnatural “plastic-y” feel, FitRight Ultra diapers prioritize comfort and breathability. “The 4-D-Core” fabric helps to wick away sweat and moisture, leaving the skin cool and dry.
Another cool feature of these diapers is a moisture-sensing indicator strip that changes color when the diaper is soiled. While not everyone needs it, moisture indicators can be a helpful tool for teaching adult non-verbal children when they need to be changed or use the bathroom.
What caregivers say:
” I have tried at least 10 different diapers, both briefs and underwear. Some offer great coverage and absorbency but are bulky, plastic back is uncomfortable and sweaty. Others won’t last overnight. This one is most comfortable, the paper like backing allows skin to breath, the little skirts inside hold stools without leaking, and best of all the tapes can be readjusted multiple times. The waistline is wide enough and the length is long enough so that the diaper does not move down to below waist. Absorbency is sufficient for whole night. It is the best brief type diaper for my husband.” – joan of New Jersey
Healifty Washable Adult Cloth Diapers
Style: Reusable cloth diaper
Absorbency Level: Depends on the insert you choose
If you’re looking to ditch the disposable diapers in favor of an easy-to-use, eco-friendly alternative, look no further than “Healifty Washable Adult Cloth Diapers.” These diapers feature a cotton/polyester liner that is soft and comfortable, as well as two elastic velcro tabs that keep the diaper in place and leak-free all night long.
Keep in mind that these diapers do not come with included inserts, so you will need to purchase them separately. Check out our top picks for reusable diaper inserts here.
What caregivers say:
“My mom suffered a massive stroke, and now suffers from complete incontinence. We are a budget family so, in lieu of the disposable diapers we had been using, I went in search of something reusable. There’s also the planet to consider with disposables. Although it’s absolutely necessary to use a disposable pad to protect my mother’s skin from overflow, these have been a perfect alternative to disposable diapers. My mother says they are far more comfortable, and caregivers love them for ease of on/off. They wash beautifully. So happy I found this alternative. Adult cloth diapers that work are *really* hard to find.” – Sara’sLyrics
Don’t be afraid to play around with different styles and sizes. It’s unlikely that you’ll find the perfect overnight diaper on your first try. So be patient and flexible. You can also talk to other caregivers to see what works well for them. Our #autismarmy Facebook group is a great place to connect hundreds of people caring for special needs children and adults.
So, you’ve embarked on the long journey of potty training your child, and things have been going well. Your child has fewer accidents, and they can express when they have to go to the bathroom. But now, as they are gaining more and more bathroom independence, you come to a seemingly impossible roadblock…wiping. How can you possibly teach your child to wipe themselves properly without making a huge mess?
There are a handful of reasons why boys and girls on the spectrum struggle with wiping themselves. For some kids, it’s a sensory issue. The feel of toilet paper is extremely overwhelming to them, so they will avoid wiping themselves at all costs. For other children, they’ve gotten used to someone else doing it for them and don’t want to change. Whatever the reason, when the time comes for your son or daughter to learn to wipe by themselves, it can be challenging for you as a parent.
With my son Curtis, it felt like an eternity before he could poop by himself without needing my help. However, after a lot of experimenting and patience, I was able to help him learn to wipe his butt on his own. I want to share with you some of the things that I wish I would’ve known when I was potty training him. These eight tips should make learning to wipe a lot easier and cleaner for you and your child.
Ok, now that you’ve got your child in the habit of making it to the bathroom and using the toilet, it’s time to start teaching them to wipe. First, you’re going to need to purchase either toilet paper or baby wipes. In my experience, wipes are the best place to start. They are softer, do a much better job of cleaning, and aren’t as overwhelming from a sensory standpoint as toilet paper.
When first introducing wipes, it’s important to make it clear that wipes go in the trash and not the toilet. Flushed wipes can back up your plumbing. Trust me, the last thing you need when potty training a child is an overflowing toilet.
Remember that while baby wipes are great for use at home, you should eventually show your child how to use toilet paper as well. Outside of the house, not every bathroom will have baby wipes readily available. So if you can train your son or daughter to use both, it will help to take away some of their anxiety about using the bathroom and prevent future accidents.
Trust me, teaching an autistic kid to wipe themselves is no walk in the park. Your patience will be tested. But no matter how much your child kicks and screams, you have to stick to your guns. They need to understand that wiping is not optional. Don’t let them leave their bathroom until their bottom is clean.
It may sound strange, but the best place to introduce butt wiping might not be in the bathroom but instead in the kitchen!
No, I’m not saying that your child should literally try wiping their butt in the kitchen, but there is a great activity that many parents are using to teach their children the right way to hold the toilet paper to avoid making a mess in the bathroom. All you need is a bowl, peanut butter, and some baby wipes.
The activity is simple. Put a half spoonful of peanut butter into the bottom of a large bowl and spread it around a little. Then, explain to your child that they need to use wipes to get all of the peanut butter out of the bowl without getting any on their hands. When the bowl is clean, they are done, and you can reward them with a treat.
Explain that they need to hold the wipes or toilet paper in the same way when they wipe themselves in the bathroom. It may seem a little silly, but this basic exercise can help your child visualize the correct way to wipe, preventing messy situations like fecal smearing.
A little motivation goes a long way when toilet training a child with ASD. So when your son or daughter does a good job in the bathroom, don’t hold back on giving them the praise they deserve. If they feel good about themselves after leaving the bathroom, naturally, they will learn to repeat the process.
When I was teaching Curtis to wipe himself, he responded well to being rewarded with treats. Whenever he used the bathroom and wiped himself, I would give him a piece of candy or allow him some extra time watching his favorite show. Instead of being afraid to use the bathroom, he learned to look forward to it, knowing he would get a treat afterward.
Please, please, please don’t wait to train your child to use the bathroom on their own. The longer you put off teaching them good bathroom habits, the harder it will be to undo the bad ones.
As soon as your child can communicate to you that they need to go poop, you should begin to introduce the idea of wiping. Starting early will help your son or daughter understand that wiping themselves is a normal part of daily life.
While you’re going to be in the bathroom with your child when they are learning to wipe, at some point, you’re going to have to let them do it on their own. So be prepared for the occasional accident. Don’t expect them to wipe perfectly every time. There will be messes, but stay calm and try not to show any frustration. Kids pick up on how you react to things like this and may learn to see it as a way to “get back at you” when they’re upset. If you need to let your emotions out, do it in a private setting, away from your child.
Some autistic kids with sensory issues have an aversion to toilet paper. They just can’t stand the way that it looks and feels, let alone wipe their bottom with it. If this is the case with your child, installing a bidet maybe your best option. It’s a win-win for both you and your child. They don’t have to use toilet paper, and you get peace of mind knowing that they’ll leave the bathroom with a clean bottom.
If you don’t have the space or the budget to install a full stand-alone bidet, I suggest checking out a bidet toilet seat. These seats are relatively inexpensive and can be installed with basic hand tools.
There is no right or wrong way to potty train your child, so you might have to play around with different methods until you find what works best for your child. If you need some fresh ideas, check out our #autismarmy Facebook page. The creative parents of the group are constantly finding new ways to overcome obstacles related to potty training autistic kids and are more than willing to share their knowledge and experience with you.
Teaching your autistic child to wipe themselves isn’t something you can do overnight. It may take months or even years before they can completely do it on their own. So don’t get discouraged if it seems like the process is taking longer than it should. With patience and persistence, it will happen. I promise you, all of the time and effort that you put into training your son or daughter will be well worth it.
Any family that has a child with autism or other intellectual disabilities understands that you have to take one day at a time. From the beginning, you’ve probably had to realize that, as your child learns and develops skills, there will be good days and bad ones.
Parents will all agree that raising children, in general, is a task that requires time and effort; adding intellectual disabilities definitely makes the job a bigger challenge and they will need your attention throughout their entire life.
But half of your battle involves taking the time to learn about your awesome child’s new condition.
When your child was diagnosed with autism, all the possible reasons for their condition have gone running through your mind. Autism can develop from factors such as genetic, nongenetic, or environmental influences, but it isn’t an illness that can be cured.
Ideally, you learn to interact with your children in a way that helps them develop the necessary skills they need as they grow up. Although there isn’t a “cure” for autism, you can look into medication treatments that have proven effective with some symptoms of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). These include:
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
But maybe you’ve heard of other alternative medications such as cannabis or medical marijuana. Some people have been studying the effects of cannabis or CBD oil on people with autism in the last couple of years, but is this really an option?
Cannabis is the scientific name for the plant most commonly known as marijuana, weed, pot, Mary Jane, and other slang terms. The dried leaves, seed oil, and other parts of the cannabis plant are used for recreational and medicinal purposes.
It may seem like an outrageous idea because many people consider cannabis an illegal and dangerous drug that’s used to get “high.” Some of its ingredients are psychoactive, meaning they can alter the mind, but cannabis actually contains about 120 active ingredients, known as cannabinoids. Not all of these ingredients cause damaging effects and their potency and balance vary depending on how the plant is grown and processed.
The two most abundant cannabinoids found in cannabis plants are cannabidiol (CBD) and delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). The bad ingredient that produces the euphoric or psychoactive effect is THC. CBD on the other hand has been associated with providing pain relief, improving sleep, and producing relief from anxiety disorders and addiction.
As you research this option, you will see that CBD comes in various forms such as:
Once you retrained your mind to not see cannabis as a deadly substance but rather an alternative treatment, then the question becomes: has research shown that cannabis and CBD oil are effective when treating autism spectrum disorder symptoms?
As a loving parent, you’ve done your research as to the signs your child displayed to be diagnosed with ASD. Most likely you’ve been given information about the difficult road ahead as your autistic child experiences:
By helping your child create a bond with their doctor, they can feel more comfortable being themselves. This way their doctor will be able to better prescribe the right medications to counteract their negative behaviors.
You deserve to get a straight answer on using cannabis for ASD and the reality is that research on its effectiveness is very limited. However, keep in mind that studies have shown some evidence of the positive effects cannabis and CBD have on those with autism.
You will find that the studies performed show that cannabis may help alleviate specific symptoms and improve unhealthy behaviors in those on the autism spectrum.
The dangers associated with using any part of the cannabis plant have made it vital that more research is done into the safety and efficacy of cannabis or CBD. We want parents to learn about some of the studies that have been conducted over the years:
photo by @Yaroslavoff
The objective of this 2018 study was to examine the effects of oral cannabidiol on commonly exhibited symptoms of autistic children, such as hyperactivity, self-injury, aggressiveness, restlessness, anxiety, and sleep disorders.
The study was performed on 53 patients, of which 45 were males and eight were females, between 4 and 22 years old. Parents were instructed by a nurse practitioner on how to administer the proper dosage of CBD oil for autism spectrum disorder symptoms.
By the end of the study, parents reported on the following symptoms:
With this study, oral CBD treatment showed an overall improvement of 74.5% on ASD symptoms. Although this may seem like a good statistic, how efficient and safe CBD for autism is, still needs to be evaluated more in-depth on a larger scale.
You’re not the only one interested in finding alternative treatments that can be more effective with autism. Other studies observe the adverse effects of ASD symptoms on cognitive development, social interaction, and behavior and aim to research how effective pure cannabidiol (CBD) and CBD-enriched cannabis sativa extract (CE) are in autistic symptoms in refractory epilepsy patients.
The study began with 18 ASD patients, of which 13 were males and five (28%) females between 6 and 17 years old. The parents of these children obtained legal authorization from the National Sanitary Surveillance Agency of Brazil (ANVISA) to allow them to use CE under the supervision of those conducting this study.
For this study, data was collected for the following symptoms:
CBD proved most effective for ADHD, SD, and SZ, where above 80% of patients showed improvement equal to or above 30%. Another notable result came in terms of controlling seizures since there was a reduction of 50% in three cases and 100% in the other two cases.
This study supports the idea that CBD-enriched CE has positive effects on multiple autistic symptoms and doesn’t produce the typical side effects in medicated ASD patients. However, they understand that the study has had its limitations due to things like the lack of control groups and the small study size, which is why further trials are required.
This 2020 study focused on analyzing the therapeutic effects of CBD on mental health. When it comes to treating ASD symptoms, CBD and CBD-containing compounds could help alleviate them.
The treatment proved to be effective in reducing the following ASD symptoms:
The effectiveness of different cannabis strains for autism hasn’t been studied sufficiently. The FDA still notes that more research has to be done to understand the potential side effects and possible interactions of this drug with other medications.
If you think that CBD oil or cannabis could succeed when other treatments have failed, then look for guidance from a medical professional who will also know the laws in effect where you live.
Maybe this research has helped you see cannabis or CBD oil in a different light, but any competent parent will still wonder if it’s legal. In the United States, answering this question depends on when you ask it because the legal status of cannabis and CBD oil is constantly evolving. Although it hasn’t explicitly been legalized at the federal level, each state’s government has allowed it to different degrees.
However, in December 2015, the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) made it easier for researchers to conduct CBD trials. Then in 2018, the Farm Bill was passed, making hemp legal in the US, which allowed hemp-derived CBD products with less than 0.3% of THC federally legal.
By the FDA approving Epidiolex, they’ve concluded that this particular product is safe and effective for its intended use. This cannabis-derived medication contains a purified form of CBD and is meant to treat seizures associated with Lennox-Gastaut syndrome or Dravet syndrome.
Keeping in mind that some autistic children suffer from severe seizures, many parents have looked into trying marijuana and cannabis extracts for ASD symptoms such as seizures, behavioral issues, and other autism-related traits.
When we go through those rough moments with our children, desperation begins to overcome us, and we seek anything that can help them. If you’re a parent of a child with autism or other intellectual disabilities, know that you aren’t alone on this challenging journey. Normal Life, Inc. is focused on providing you with an expanding community of parents that are going through the same situations you’re currently facing.
Join our Facebook group #autismarmy today and start connecting with the parents that are a part of this community and are always willing to help.
Before I had my first son, I joined in all the usual jokes–” Say goodbye to sleep and hello to baggy eyes!” Everyone knows that babies are cute sleepless little terrors through the night, and that means mom and dad are sleepless too, but it can be a happy kind of weariness. We were excited about it.
We told ourselves it wasn’t so bad, and that they’ll start sleeping soundly soon; every parent goes through this rite of passage — we can do this.
But the restless nights didn’t end for our baby or for us. Sleeplessness was our life for more than a year.
Looking back, I realize it was one of the first symptoms of autism that I might have picked up on, but he was my first baby, and I was a bit clueless. I didn’t realize our situation wasn’t the norm. I thought it was like this for everyone. No baby sleeps, right?
That changed after a year and a half when it became obvious something was wrong besides his sleep.
My son still wasn’t communicating or even trying to mimic our words. That realization came with a dark, ugly pit in my stomach, and it sat there and chewed at my heart. It’s hard to describe just how powerless I felt and totally unable to even think of what I could do for him.
We didn’t know where to go or who to go to, but we knew we had to get help somewhere. Once we did, the pit in our stomach didn’t leave, but it was like we learned how to carry it. Our son was diagnosed as being on the spectrum, and we dedicated ourselves to learning everything we could.
One thing we learned was that sleep would always be difficult for our son. Pediatrics magazine published a study among 2-5-year-olds and found that 80% of children with autism suffer from sleep problems, nearly twice that of their peers.
Knowing that helped us to prepare and face our son’s sleeping trouble together as a team. Knowledge is a reassurance–It was for us, and it will be for you.
The exact reasons that insomnia and restlessness plague people on the spectrum can be hard to peg down, but in general, we can say there are a few likely culprits.
It’s also worth noting that our kids with autism have all of the usual reasons for sleep woes; Stress from school and relationships, excitement, caffeine, and sleep apnea. You name it. It’s worth having your child’s doctor check for non-autism-related sleeping conditions too.
It can be really easy to feel like this is too much, that all of these factors stacked together will have us beat. Maybe our sleep-deprived mind is already telling us, “Ok, I give up. Does my family really need sleep?”
Trust me; you can do this. Your autistic son or daughter has a hill to climb to find a cozy sleep routine, but your hard work can carve them a stairway. Your good parenting will make that journey easier for them.
Don’t just take my word for it. Good sleep routine practices were tested in a program with 80 autistic children from 2-10 years old. Before the program, the average sleep latency, or the time it took the kids to fall asleep, was 58.2 minutes. After the program, that average plummeted to 39.6 minutes, and nearly 30 of the kids could fall asleep in under half an hour.
Similar methods can and will work for your family. Not only can your kids sleep more soundly, but you can help encourage them to do it without depriving yourself of your own needed sleep.
Understanding our child’s sleeping routine and needs boils down to understanding five key points. Everything about a good sleeping program can be traced back here.
Focus your daily activities around things that will make sleeping easier.
All our hard work during the day can be undone if we don’t stick the landing.
If they wake up in the middle of the night, they’ll need these associations to get back to sleep, so make sure it’s something they can provide for themselves. If they need you to be there when they sleep, they’ll wake you up to help put them back to bed.
A favorite stuffed animal is a common association, and some parents use pictures on the nightstand to point to as part of the nightly routine.
That said, every child is unique. Some do find comfort in white noise, nightlights, and even TV or radios, but start with a very calm room before experimenting. If you do include noise, make sure it’s consistent. Randomized noises, like birds chirping, will be too stimulating.
Keep that ideal bedtime in mind when planning all of your evening activities.
It can take several weeks to transition your child to a new bedtime, but those are several weeks well worth it in the long run.
Begin by putting them to bed whenever they get tired, even if it’s much later or earlier than your chosen time. Then move the bedtime 15 minutes in the right direction every two days until you adjust them to the correct time.
Of all the things in this world that you could possibly wake up to in the morning, fecal smearing is one of the worst imaginable. Unfortunately, for parents of kids with autism, it’s something that some of us have to deal with on a regular basis.
To your average person, seeing a child rub poo all over themselves is shocking and disturbing, but it comes as no surprise for us. Still, even if we have experienced fecal smearing many times, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
When I worked at an institution for developmentally delayed adults, fecal smearing was common, but I often didn’t had to deal with it alone. The institution was ready for this kind of thing. There were always people ready to change the sheets, wash the floors, and bathe the patients. At home, though, the toll it can take on a person is a totally different ballgame.
Cleaning up someone else’s feces is exhausting both mentally and physically. Every time it happens, you have to strip your child, bathe them, throw their clothes in the wash, then get down on your hands and knees to scrub the floors. This whole process can take hours, leaving you stressed and emotionally drained.
If you have ever dealt with fecal smearing, I feel for you, and I want to help. In this article, I’m going to share some of the most common reasons that kids smear their feces; then, I’ll give you some ideas you can use to manage or even eliminate fecal smearing in the future.
As with anything relating to autism, every kid is different. So there is no single reason why they feel the need to smear their poo.
While your ultimate goal is to manage or even eliminate fecal smearing altogether, knowing what is causing this behavior may give you a shortcut to reach your destination faster. Here are a few common reasons that kids start smearing feces.
Ok, hopefully, you’ve been able to narrow down the reasons that your child might be smearing their poop. Now comes the fun part: managing this messy situation. Here are a few solutions that worked well for my son and me. I’m sure that they can help you too.
If you can keep your child on a regular poop schedule, it will significantly reduce the chances of them digging around back there to alleviate some of the discomforts. Having a regular BM schedule also allows you to essentially “schedule” their poops for a time when they won’t be left alone for hours on end — which will lead to fecal smearing.
There are a lot of fiber supplements out there that can really help. However, Gummies are my favorite choice for autistic kids, especially ones who don’t like to take their “medicine.”
Before you give the gummies to your child, try them out for yourself. Pay attention to how they make you feel. Does your stomach hurt when you take them? Were your bowel movements consistent? Your own self-analysis will help you understand how your non-verbal child is feeling.
After you’ve introduced a fiber supplement to your son or daughter, be consistent. Give them their gummies at the same time every day, and try to encourage them to poop before bedtime. It also helps to keep a “poop journal.” You can take notes about when they have bowel movements, the consistency of their stool, and if they had any pain. Keeping track of their regularity will help you see when they are most likely to smear so that you can plan accordingly.
If you have carpet in your child’s room and fecal smearing is becoming an issue, tear it out! Trust me. You’ll thank yourself for doing it later.
Not having to wash and scrub your floors constantly will do wonders for your body, both physically and mentally! If you’re skeptical about hard floors, you can always pick up a stain-resistant, machine washable rug from a company like Ruggable.
If you’ve been around the Normal Life community for a while, you know how much I love onesies and jumpsuits. They really do work wonderfully when trying to keep the poo in the pants and the hands out. With my son, I found that when I put his onesie on backward, he couldn’t reach the zipper, so that he couldn’t smear feces on himself or other surfaces if he tried.
When at home or during the night, zip-up pajamas are a great option. Just be sure to avoid “footy” PJs. You cant put these ones on backward unless you cut the feet off.
For school and other activities outside the house, mechanics jumpsuits work great. While you can exactly put them on backward, it makes it a lot harder for your son or daughter to get into their underwear or diaper.
Let’s face it. Adult diapers stink in comparison to the ones available for babies and toddlers. They don’t fit as well and certainly don’t do as good of job holding in excrement. If your child’s diapers tend to leak, you might want to try doubling up with a pair of good ole tidy whities.
Brief-style underwear have elastic bands that hug a child’s legs, helping to keep BMs inside. Don’t be afraid to buy underwear that fits snuggly. As long as they aren’t uncomfortable for your child, a snug fit will only help to keep poo from escaping.
For autistic kids who need extra sensory stimuli, feces’ texture, smell, and temperature can be very appealing to them. Obviously, this is not an ideal situation. Poop is not a toy. So what can you do? Fortunately, there are tons of fidget and stim toys on amazon that are specifically tailored to the needs of kids with sensory perception issues. Having toys like “Farm Beadeez” readily available in your child’s room will encourage them to engage in sensory exploration in a clean and safe way.
This last tip isn’t so much about the fecal smearing itself, rather about self-care. Parenting a child with special needs is challenging in itself. At times it might even feel impossible. So when your child does something like cover themselves in excrement, it can push you to your breaking point.
If you can, try to plan in advance what you will do when things like this happen. Maybe you need to take a walk, have a good cry, or have a big glass of wine. That’s ok! You need a little “me time” to decompress and escape the stress for a while.
Again, I just want to emphasize that dealing with a child who smears is not easy, and if it’s something that you are going through right now, I truly empathize with you. Just remember. You are not alone. You may be surprised to find out just how many people in the Normal life community are dealing with the exact same issues that you are. These incredible people have so much experience and knowledge to share.
Every time I read the comments on our YouTube channel, it never ceases to amaze me that a mom or dad has come up with a new genius way of approaching a common autism problem.
I encourage you to get in contact with us! You can join the #autismarmy on Facebook here, and check out our youtube channel here!
You are fully aware that size does not matter if you’re a toddler parent. These tiny humans can have more spice, sass, flare, and, sadly, aggression than most adults. Toddlers can give the sweetest cuddles one minute, do a total 180, and give out the loudest scream the next!
Don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing my kid’s personalities come out during their toddler years, but it wasn’t always a walk in the park.
Toddlers are at the stage of development where their minds are learning new ways of communicating with the world, but it can be frustrating for them at times.
For example, a toddler with autism may already struggle to express themselves. In turn, many situations can lead them to use aggressive behaviors, like hitting and throwing temper tantrums, to communicate.
Sadly, these tiny humans can direct aggressive behavior towards themselves and others, including parents, siblings, and friends. As a parent, it’s not an easy situation to deal with or see.
So, when these aggressive behaviors come, and boy do they come, how can you handle it? How can you overcome it? Better yet, what can you do to encourage good behavior?
We all have unique circumstances and kids with different personalities. Still, through years of trial and error, a few basic rules have helped me handle and overcome aggression in autistic toddlers.
Our children’s behavior starts with us. Understand that it will be hard at times, but consistency is key. Make a plan and stick with it.
Overcoming aggression from your autistic toddler requires preparation and commitment from the whole family. I’ve even had members in my house sign contracts, so I know they are fully committed to this! It might get loud, it might get raw, but in the end, everyone will benefit.
Over the years, I have written up many personalized Behavior Modification Plans. But, of course, the first step to improving behavior is always understanding your child. Thankfully, you already know your toddler better than anyone else. You are fully aware of their likes, dislikes, what bothers them, what scares them, what agitates them, and so on. This basis will equip you with knowing the best way to help them.
Behavioral Modification plans involve a few different parts; let’s get into the details.
Undesirable behaviors are any behavior that becomes a problem. They tend to trigger aggression and other negative behaviors.
I’m going to ask you now to get out your pen and paper (or open a notetaking app) and make a couple of lists. With your child in mind, make a list of their undesirable behaviors. If you have more than one child you want to create a plan for, then make one list for each child.
I made a personal example with one of my kids in mind:
Remember, these are negative behaviors that are currently an issue for one specific child. Of course, we aren’t going to tackle them all overnight, but now we have a basis.
Desirable reinforcements are also personal to a specific child. These involve anything your toddler likes and are used as a reward system.
With your toddler in mind, make another list now of desirable reinforcements that appeal to them.
Here’s my list of desirable reinforcements with the same child in mind:
We have different rewards or treats to turn to when we want to reinforce positive behavior. Maybe you have heard the saying, “A punishment must match the crime.” Obviously, we are not dealing with criminals, but the principle stays the same.
We don’t want to go above and beyond on discipline for small things. But the same is true vice versa. I’ll give you an example.
The worst bad behavior of them all to me is biting and scratching. So these behaviors must have the harshest consequences of all. For example, no TV or games. The reason why I call them the harshest is because everyone in the household is affected by them.
If one child is unhappy, the behaviors will disrupt everyone until bedtime. So in a way, the child with the bad behavior wants to make sure that if they aren’t having fun, no one else is either.
Whether you consciously know it or not, all families have a set of Flat Rules, rules that all members in the house know and are expected to follow. Of course, they change a bit from family to family, but it might include some of these examples:
Hopefully, you were thinking about your own Flat Rules while reading the example list. So take a moment to jot down a new list of your family’s current Flat Rules.
These are important because they never change. Kids can receive reminders of these rules, but they always depend on the consistency of these basic Flat Rules.
Now, the most important rule of them all. Don’t make up new rules as you go along!
Let me show you an example. Your toddler hits their sibling for the first time, so, naturally, you say, “Don’t hit your sister! Now you can’t use your iPad today!”
You might be thinking, “Um, ok? That seems like a logical way to respond to bad behavior,” and you’re right! There seems to be nothing wrong with this form of discipline. But, consider this. As humans, we don’t work that way. We need to know the rule and the consequence straight off the bat.
Even God gave Adam and Eve rules AND let them know the consequences of going against that rule before they ever did anything wrong.
So, make a rule and let them know the discipline. Suppose you want to create a new rule. You have to let the first offense go and then make it a rule for next time. Of course, this process takes communication between you and your toddler.
Make your yes mean yes and your no, no, no matter how tired you are.
Yes, means yes. If your toddler earned the reward of going to the park for good behavior, but you are exhausted after a full day of being Super Mom, grab yourself a coffee and go to the park. Follow through! If you don’t want to commit to the park, then make a new reward for next time, one that’s easy for you to follow through with.
No means no. If you already told your child no, stay strong and keep it a no. By giving in once, they know that if they pester and bug you enough next time, you will give in.
Now you have the basics of your plan. Each week focus on a new behavior to tackle. Until then, I need you to master the following:
Once you have these basics down, you are ready to start dealing with specific bad behaviors on your toddler’s list. Whether it’s a long or short list, don’t get ahead of yourself or overwhelmed with the work in front of you. Instead, take it one behavior at a time.
FYI. If bedwetting is on your toddler’s undesirable behavior list, I always tackle bedwetting as the last undesirable behavior, only because emotions and/or medications could be causing it.
Keep in mind that these notes are a general outline of dealing with aggression in autistic toddlers. It’s hard to write a complete guide since each child and family is different. In any case, let me know if you are actively dealing with a specific type of aggression from your toddler or child with autism and need help!
We often share the same battles, but we all have unique experiences and challenges. Join our #Autismarmy on Facebook and let us know how you have tackled aggression in autism, or leave a comment here on our blog.
At some point, all of our kids develop some bad habits. There’s no getting around that. So the earlier you can recognize and start to deal with these naughty behaviors, the better. But just when you think you have everything under control, along comes puberty, and suddenly all that progress you made seems to go right down the drain. Believe me. I know exactly how frustrating it can be. So as a parent, how are you supposed to deal with all of the behavioral changes that come along with puberty?
*Just as a note, this article is based on the experiences I’ve had with my autistic son. So it will focus primarily on boys, but the tips I have apply to girls going through puberty as well.
Oh, the joys of hormones. They really do some weird things to the body. Hormones cause body hair to sprout, funky odors to emerge, and certain parts to … ahem… “enlarge.” But aside from all of the physical changes, hormones can have a huge effect on a child’s behavior and aggression levels. But why? Well, there are two basic reasons.
One, during puberty, testosterone production kicks into high gear. Testosterone is one of the body’s stress hormones,” so your son may subconsciously go into “fight or flight mode at random times throughout the day.
Two, all of these changes can be confusing, exciting, or even scary for a kid with autism. This is because their brains are missing the pieces that allow them to process what is happening to their bodies. I remember on one occasion, my son was in the bathroom and started yelling for my help. When I went in and asked him what was wrong, he said: “I have hair, and it won’t come off!” The poor thing was trying to pull his pubic hair off. He didn’t want it to grow there. So we had to have a chat with him about all the changes his body was going to start going through.
With all these raging hormones and confusing emotions, it’s unavoidable that your son is going to lash out, physically and sexually.
At one point or another, all kids become infatuated with the new urges and sensations that come along with becoming a grownup. However, since kids on the spectrum have trouble understanding social cues, they might develop the tendency to explore these new sensations In inappropriate ways and inappropriate places.
When tackling this issue, it’s important to be balanced. They need to know that these feelings and urges they’re experiencing are totally normal and are nothing to be afraid of. However, at the same time, they should understand that their private parts are personal and not something to be played with in public.
Here are a couple of things that I found especially helpful when my son was going through puberty; maybe they can help your child too as they enter puberty.
When our son went through puberty, we gave him the privacy he needed, but he developed a strange habit at one point. He would take any clothes he could find and stuff them into his pants. Clean clothes, dirty clothes, clothes in the drier, you name it, if he could get his hands on them, they were going down the front of his pants. This was a new behavior for me — and not a good one. It was getting harder and harder to keep an eye on him, especially when he was at school.
So I finally came up with the idea to change up the clothes he wore to school. We would dress him in jumpsuits (the same kind that my dad used to wear when he worked on cars.) This new outfit made it much harder for him to shove things in his pants, plus he had his own super cool uniform to wear to school.
If your son or daughter has similar habits, changing up their wardrobe might be a great way to keep their sexual urges under control.
For pubescent kids with autism, teaching them about privacy is absolutely essential. They need to know how close to let people into their lives. We’ve shared a program with our clients in the past called: Circles: Intimacy and Relationships. The system uses a target-shaped circle with six rings, each indicating the appropriate level of trust and intimacy your child should have with an individual. The farther away an individual is from the center of the circle, the more space they should be given. Circles is an awesome teaching tool, and I happily recommend it to all parents trying to educate their kids about privacy.
As your child begins to grow into their adult body, they are going to get physically bigger and stronger, which is fine until they start to get aggressive. The kicking and hitting that was annoying when they were a little kid now pose a real danger to your family’s safety.
It breaks my heart that so many parents are genuinely terrified of their autistic kids. There are horror stories out there of moms and dads getting beat up, concussed, or even hospitalized by an aggressive autistic child.
Naturally, kids going through puberty get moodier, going from happy and smiley to angry and violent almost instantly. This unpredictability can be tough to understand and handle as a parent, leaving you with bruises and scars from a sudden outburst coming seemingly out of nowhere. So what can you do to control an aggressive autistic teenager?
I can’t stress this point enough. The longer you wait to address physically aggressive behavior, the more dangerous the situation will become, and the harder it will be to get their temper back under control.
As soon as your child begins puberty, you should start planning how you will handle tantrums and potential violent behavior.
One of the best ways to prepare for the mood swings and aggression that come with puberty is to have a conversation with your child’s behavioral therapist. They are familiar with the ways your child thinks and acts in different circumstances and can help you create a plan that will work well for your family.
With all that pent-up energy, it’s no wonder that hormonal autistic teenagers lash out. So why not give them a healthy way to release some of that energy.
The experts at Harvard Medical School suggest that just 15 minutes of exercise can be a serious mood booster and even help to prevent depression and anxiety. So if possible, set a goal of at least 15 minutes of physical activity for your son or daughter each day. Not only will a little exercise help to balance out their mood, but as an added bonus, it can help to take their mind off their newfound sexual urges.
You can’t fight fire with fire. Trust me. It’s not easy to keep your cool when your kid is smacking you in the face. But maintaining a mild temper when your son or daughter is in a “mood” can go a long way in terms of neutralizing an aggressive situation.
The last thing you want is to aggravate your child more than they already are. So when giving them discipline, try to be firm without getting angry. Set clear rules beforehand, and when those rules are broken, don’t waver in enforcing them. Remember, never yell or use harsh words with your son or daughter; it will only escalate the situation and can lead to further violence.
If physically restraining your child is the absolute only way to control their aggressive outbursts, please talk to your child’s pediatrician or behavioral therapist right away. Physical restraint can be stressful and can cause severe physical and emotional harm to you and your child. Positive behavioral tactics should always be the preferred method of controlling an overly aggressive child, so if you need help, please, please ask for it.
I hope reading about the experiences I had with my son has given you some ideas to implement with your kids as they go through the “joys of puberty.” However, please remember that every kid is different, so just because these methods worked for me doesn’t mean they will work for you and your child. So if you have questions about the best way to manage your son or daughter’s sexual and physical aggression, talk to their doctor.
Puberty is a crazy time for both you as a parent and your child as they grow into adulthood. You’re going to have some ups and downs, but with some creativity, patience, and maybe a few bandaids here and there, you’ll get through it, and you might even have fun along the way.
We always tell our children that they need to eat their vegetables to grow up healthy and strong. With some children, pretending the spoon is an airplane that lands delicious veggies into their mouth may lead to success. But, unfortunately, for most children, getting them to eat healthily isn’t always the easiest task.
The challenge could be just as tough when it comes to children with autism and other intellectual disabilities. For example, if your child is a picky eater, you must closely monitor their vitamin and mineral intake to ensure they get the necessary nutrition. The danger exists when your child doesn’t receive those essential nutrients required by their body, hindering their development.
What can you do to help your child get better nutrition? Many parents have looked towards supplements that might be able to help your child with autism. Let’s consider:
It’s routine for parents to take their children to the doctor to check up on how they are doing as they grow. If you inform them about their eating habits or lack thereof, they will most likely suggest helpful dietary improvements through diet changes and supplementation. While many parents could find themselves trying different supplements for their children, it’s always crucial to consult with their primary physician.
Studies have shown that supplements for children can help to reduce the risk of stunted bone and muscle growth, obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. When it comes to autistic children, supplements can also help with:
ASD isn’t a medical condition that can be cured, but vitamin and dietary supplements may help your child stay physically healthy and feeling better. In addition, doing so could reduce some of the maladaptive behaviors they engage in.
Why is it necessary to check with your child’s doctor even if you’ve learned from research that certain supplements could help? While studies prove that supplements are effective, not knowing precisely which nutrients they lack could be a problem. In addition, giving them vitamins or other supplements they don’t need leads to nutrient imbalances and other health issues.
Your child’s doctor will get blood work done to check their levels of different nutrients necessary for their development. After they get the results, they will prescribe the supplements they need and monitor their levels.
Children with ASD commonly display these symptoms that may concern parents:
Here are some of the most effective supplements doctors have prescribed to children with ASD and what foods naturally contain these vitamins and minerals.
One of the most studied supplements with autism is Vitamin D because many autistic children often show deficits in this vitamin. It was found that vitamin D affects the neurotransmitters in the brain, helping the brain form new connections and strengthen those connections that already exist.
Keeping these facts in mind, children with autism who receive Vitamin D supplements saw a decrease in symptoms associated with autism, such as:
Sunlight is an excellent source of vitamin D because, when exposed to it, the body can produce vitamin D naturally. Some foods that are natural sources of Vitamin D include:
Since there aren’t many options, some foods are fortified with vitamin D. These include:
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), oxytocin is a hormone “produced mainly in the hypothalamus, where it is either released into the blood via the pituitary gland or to other parts of the brain and spinal cord, where it binds to oxytocin receptors to influence behavior and physiology.”
In other words, this chemical that’s naturally produced within the brain affects the part of the brain associated with social bonding and social interactions. Although studies have been inconclusive on whether there’s a direct correlation between oxytocin levels and ASD, some children have shown moderate improvements in social function with this supplement.
Another essential nutrient is vitamin B6 because it promotes normal brain development and keeps our nervous system and immune system healthy. Vitamin B6 may also improve your child’s mood and reduce symptoms of depression.
If your child lacks sufficient vitamin B6, good foods sources include:
In most cases, vitamin B6 is supplemented with magnesium to prevent an upset stomach.
Magnesium also ensures that your brain and muscle cells function correctly. Studies have shown that some autistic children may have a magnesium deficiency even though the cause is unknown. You can find magnesium in many foods, such as:
One common symptom of ASD is difficulty sleeping. Some studies have shown that there could be a correlation between low melatonin levels and the severity of autism symptoms in children. Since melatonin is the body’s hormone that regulates our sleep/wake cycles, it’s no surprise that difficulty sleeping can lead to aggression in children with autism.
Melatonin supplements are frequently used to treat insomnia, difficulty falling asleep, or difficulty staying asleep. Improving your child’s sleeping habits will help you sleep better at night and may positively affect daytime behaviors.
Foods that are rich in melatonin include:
Children with autism often experience problems with speech, and this impairment could be due to difficulty processing methyl B-12 within the body. Since the brain needs this vitamin to support cognition, methyl vitamin B12 supplements can act on specific pathways to improve certain brain processes, such as speech.
Research on the medicinal properties of marijuana (cannabis) has picked up since the U.S government passed the Farm Bill in 2018, which made hemp legal and allowed hemp-derived CBD products with less than 0.3% of THC federally legal.
Using CBD products to treat autism aggression and other symptoms, research has shown that it can be effective but still requires further study to determine how safe it is.
Here’s a list of other supplements and how they can be beneficial to children with autism:
The nutrients your child needs should be a concern even before they are born. Although more research needs to be done, many studies have found correlations between nutrient deficiency during pregnancy and autism.
Speak to your doctor about the many benefits of prenatal vitamins and any other supplements you may need to keep your unborn baby healthy.
There are various supplement options that you can discuss with your child’s primary care provider. However, the road to improve difficulties your child faces, such as speech, requires a combination of many methods.
For autistic children that can’t communicate, speech therapy can be an excellent treatment option. In addition, speech therapy can help children with developmental disorders, such as ASD, understand and use spoken language socially.
Some of the skills that a certified speech-language therapist will focus on with your autistic child include:
Parents! You’re not alone on this complex and ever-changing journey with your exceptional child. Our love for our children keeps us eager to search for any means necessary to make their life better as they grow up.
For this reason, Normal Life, Inc. was founded in 2015 to provide help to families of children with autism or other intellectual disabilities. We want to transform the world of autism resources by giving parents first-hand advice from other parents going through the same situation. Here is a link for more ideas from our You Tube Channel.
You can find information on our website that’s filled with blogs on various topics that can be useful and connect to our expanding community through our YouTube channel or our Facebook group #autismarmy.
